


Accidentally

by Huntchaser, MeredithBrody



Series: Brody/Gibbs [6]
Category: NCIS, NCIS: New Orleans
Genre: Crack, F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-05
Updated: 2016-01-05
Packaged: 2018-05-12 00:27:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5647282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Huntchaser/pseuds/Huntchaser, https://archiveofourown.org/users/MeredithBrody/pseuds/MeredithBrody
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Brody accidentally sends Bishop something she didn't want to see, and the two women then try to mentally scar each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Accidentally

**Author's Note:**

> I honestly don't know which of them won. This was based on an RP we did, this is set after Sister City (Parts 1 & 2). 
> 
> Most was written by MeredithBrody. Bishop's texts were written by Huntchaser.

Long days were always best answered with presents, and for the first time in a long time Brody actually felt like sending this particular type of _present_ to her significant other. She found the best frame, and the best filter, then only half looked through her phone as she sent them off. Hopefully, it would bring a smile to his face after the week he'd had. She knew that he hated going back to work, not that he took leave all that often.

Then her phone buzzed, and she realised the grave tactical error she'd made as the name popped up in her phone.

 **> Merri what the fuck are these  
** **> Merri this is the wrong number**  
** >Merri wtf please stop**

Bishop!!! She'd sent them to Bishop! That was definitely _not_ who the intended recipient had been, and that was going to be awkward. So she grabbed her phone and shot back a message.

 **> OH MY GOD  
** **> I SHOULD NOT HAVE YOU, PRIDE AND GIBBS ALL WITH THE WORD “BOSS” IN MY CONTACTS.**  
** >and no, I will not tell you who was the intended recipient.**

Telling her who was intended would be giving the game away, and since they were still very much low key, she was not really ready to reveal it. Though she got the feeling Bishop would guess immediately. Mostly because they all knew one of the people she'd listed was very unavailable. The reaction was almost immediate.

 **> WAs it FUCKING FOR GIBBS  
** **> AE YOU FUCKIN MY BOSS**  
** >ITS BAD ENOUGH THAT TONY AND MCGEE THINK IM FUCKING GIBBS CAUSE I CALLED HIM JETHRO BUT YOU ARE ACTUALLY STRAIGHT UP FUCKING HIM**

There were very few things in this life that could reduce Brody to tears of laughter, but Bishop's reaction was definitely one of them. The hysterical chuckles she let out while typing up her responses were enough. She could picture the horrified face that Bishop was giving the phone, and that was enough to make her laugh even harder.

 **> Yes. Possibly.  
** **> I may or may not be fucking your boss.**  
** >Let’s just say. I’m fucking one of our bosses, and I’m not fucking mine**

It was out now, and so Brody sent a quick text to Gibbs saying she'd call and explain in the morning. As it was, it was too late for her to talk on the phone, she was also laughing too hard to form coherent sentences.

 **> THe fuCK???  
** **> IS IT A BAD TIME TO MENTION I’M FUCKING LASALLE THEN**  
** >DISREGARD THAT LAST TEXT**  
** >I JUST TALK FOOTBALL WITH LASALLE THAT IS ALL**  
** >NO FUCKING AT ALL**  
** >NONE**

Well. That was when it all went to hell, and Brody had to fire back with the most disturbing things she could think of that would go appropriately with that. Though the news that Bishop and LaSalle had had a thing when she was in New Orleans was unsurprising to anyone who actually knew LaSalle.

 **> I ALMOST FUCKED YOUR BOSS ON YOUR DESK ONCE. YOU KNOW. SINCE WE’RE SHARING.  
** **> HE’S CLASSIER THAN ME THOUGH. WANTED TO WAIT TIL WE WERE IN THE ELEVATOR.**  
** >WE ALL KNOW YOU FUCKED LASALLE. LASALLE DOES NOT DO SECRETS WELL.**

That may have been a little uncalled for, she'd admit that… but it was still true. This was definitely the best time for them to reveal their true feelings to one another. Brody truly adored Bishop, which was probably why this was so much fun.

 **> Well damn  
** **> At least Tony and McGee don’t know**  
** >WAIT YOU ALMOST FUCKED ON MY DESK**  
** >FYI LASALLE AND I MADE OUT ON YOUR DESK AND HE TOOK OFF HIS SHIRT ON YOUR DESK**  
** >YOU KNOW WHEN YOU CALLED LASALLE THAT ONE NIGHT AND YOU HEARD GIGGLING AND YOU SAID IT WAS SOME DUMB BITCH**  
** >THAT WAS ME**

Well she actually did remember that call, and the fallout from it. Which had had Brody in fits of giggles and Percy just cursing her general existence. She'd known back then it was a blonde. It was kind of nice to know that she was right. There were also all the times Gibbs had been on the phone with his team while Brody had been doing unspeakable things. Some of them Bishop definitely didn't need to know about. She'd go with the tamer stories.

 **> I think Tony and McGee’s continued ignorance will depend a lot on my general mood tbh.  
** **> MY BARE ASS HAS BEEN ON YOUR DESK.**  
** >I ALSO WAS GIVING HIM A BLOWJOB WHILE HE GAVE YOU A CASE UPDATE ONCE. THAT WAS FUN. I WOULD DO THAT AGAIN. THE MOANING WAS MY FAULT.**

It was so much easier to mentally scar someone who was 2000 miles away than someone who lived in the same city. How did that work. She didn't really know, but somehow, it did. This was amusing the small part of Brody's mind that enjoyed causing suffering on others.

 **> THAT WAS TONY NOT ME  
** **> IM GONAN HAVE TO BLEACH MY DESK NOW**  
** >WELL LET SCAR YOU WITH THSI IMAGE**  
** >NAKED LASALLE**  
** > _{one attachment}_**

There was no way in hell she was opening that. There were some things in life Brody really didn't need to see, and her pseudo-brother stark naked was in that list. There was another person in this office she wouldn't mind seeing starkers, but that was still off the menu. As for the phone call, Gibbs had used speaker, she'd known who he was talking to.

 **> NOPE. IT WAS YOU. HE HAD YOU ON SPEAKER. HE CLAIMED HIS KNEE WAS HURTING.  
** **> MINE HAD SEBASTIAN ON IT DRUNK ONCE IT’S SEEN WORSE THAN LASALLE.**  
** >I SUGGEST YOU TURN THE SOUND UP**  
** > _{{vid attach 1}}_**

OK, the video was almost completely blank and mostly just contained a lot of heavy breathing, but the implication alone was enough to make Brody laugh even harder. She knew this was not going to end prettily at this point, but she also didn't really mind too much.

 **> I AM NOT WATCHING THAT  
** **> MINE WAS ONLY HIS UPPER BODY BUT YOU TOOK THIS TOO FAR**  
** >I THOUGHT IT WAS HOES BEFORE BROS**  
** >UTERUSES BEFORE DUDERUSES**  
** >IM TELLING SONJA AND MCGEE AND TONY AND LASALLE AND PRIDE**  
** >YOU ARE TERRIBLE MEREIDTH BRODY**

That was the third time she'd been called terrible today, it was becoming a pattern. Maybe she needed to re-think some things. But at the same time, she really didn't want to. As for hoes before bros… she had met Gibbs first, so that put a new spin on the whole situation. Then, when it came to telling people… some already knew.

 **> IT WAS DARK TBF YOU CAN’T SEE ANYTHING… FUNNILY ENOUGH LIGHTS ON PHONES RUIN THE MOOD WHEN YOU’RE RIDING LIKE A COWGIRL…  
** **> PRIDE AND SONJA ALREADY KNOW… PRIDE UNFORTUNATELY SAW MORE THAN HE EVER WANTED TO.**  
** >TELL ALL, I WILL HAVE TO TELL TOO THOUGH.**  
** >I BELIEVE WE FIND OURSELVES IN A STATE OF MUTUALLY ASSURED DESTRUCTION HERE, SPECIAL AGENT BISHOP.**

They were the US and Russia during the cold war. They could quite easily destroy each other at this point, but in reality they both knew that it would be better for the world of NCIS if they just continued co-existing peacefully. That was how this was gonna go she was sure.

**> DID I MENATION THAT TONY AND MCGEE THINK IM FUCKING GIBBS  
>THEY WOULD THINK YOURE LYING**

That really wouldn't matter, since Brody was the one who had video evidence. She also had this conversation, which was one of the most hilarious Brody had had in a long time.

 **> I WOULD SHOW THEM THE VIDEOS I HAVE THAT PROVE I’M FUCKING GIBBS.  
** **> BESIDES HE’S A REALLY GOOD FUCK LIKE… HE’S ACTUALLY GOT BETTER IN THE 12 YEARS SINCE FIRST TIME WE FUCKED.**  
** >hang on… wait a second… what?**

Wait… Bishop and Gibbs? That was a disturbing mental image all on it's own. Not one that particularly bothered her, but it was an image. Clearly the boys had realised Gibbs was getting it from somewhere.

 **> Well yeah, obviously.  
** **> I called him Jethro once or twice by accident.**  
** >TBH they think you’re fucking LaSalle or Pride**

Well, they were wrong on all three counts, but at least she wouldn't be totally against fucking Pride. That would actually be really quite good for her. Oh wow she had issues, that was becoming more and more evident the longer this conversation went on.

 **> ……… They think you’re fucking him on that flimsy evidence. Honestly, unless you have him tied up he prefers being called “Special Agent Gibbs” in bed.  
** **> And doesn’t that change the context of when you were both down in New Orleans last. Sorry not sorry.**  
** >I would fuck Pride, but he’s still hung up on his wife. LaSalle…. ewww… that would be legit incest I swear.**

Sometimes the fact that Pride was still hung up on his wife was a buzzkill for her, but he needed time and she got that. LaSalle though, no. There was only one word for any of that, and it was all _no_. Besides, given her history and general tastes, he was too young for her.

 **> wait but on our last trip I was still married  
** **> aw man don’t hate on LaSalle he’s a bun**  
** >AW EW THATS NASTY AT LEAST LASALLE AND I DONT HUMP EACH LTHER EVERY FIVE SECONDS WE KINDA JUST HOLD HANDS AND ACT CUTE**

Every five seconds was a little bit of an overstatement. OK not a massive one but it was still an overstatement. Mostly they could keep their hands off each other in professional environments. When they were in private, all bets were off. As for Bishop being married, the first time they'd been in New Orleans that had been obvious, this last time the change had been clear.

 **> I don’t mean you. Back then you were the most married person I’d met.  
** **> He is… but he’s also basically my brother and that is gross and you can fuck him all you want. Maybe invite Percy along. She’s open minded and possibly a little bit gay.**  
** >WE ONLY DID LIKE TWICE WHILE HE WAS IN NEW ORLEANS LAST. BOTH TIMES IN THE BACK ROOM AT THE OFFICE. OK so you were only there like two days… ANYWAY. Took you long enough.**

Percy desperately needed something, and Brody was certain she was more than a little gay. She was certainly interested in both and that was amusing for totally different reasons. It had taken her long enough to realise what Brody had been hinting at. Her bedroom name for Gibbs had been how she greeted him, and to everyone else it had just seemed totally professional.

**> You know Chris reminds me of a guy I met at an Oklahoma Alabama game in college**  
** >he said his name was Chris and he wanted to be a cop**  
** >and we hooked up**  
** >OH WAIT ITS THE SAME GUY HAHA**  
** >wait a sec**  
** >you said Gibbs pride and I all had boss in our contact names**  
** >WHAT THE HELL I MEAN I KNOW WHAT MINE IS AND PRIDES IS JUST PLAIN BOSS WHATS GIBBS**

So, Bishop had known LaSalle probably around as long as she'd known Gibbs. That was totally not unexpected, and actually helped explain how they had ended up falling into something so fast. Especially as Bishop's marriage had only been over a month or two. Not that LaSalle seemed to have an issue dating married women since Savannah. As for their contacts, she was Oklahoman Boss, Pride was Boss Man… and Gibbs was something she shouldn't mention in public.

 **> Hey, you hooked up with LaSalle in college and I hooked up with Gibbs when I was 25… this is good for return fucks. We give the universe hope.  
** **> Granted… you and LaSalle are the same age but… you know Gibbs is only 18 years older than me. It’s not that bad. He could only _just_ be my dad. Like barely.**  
** >I have a problem of wanting to fuck older men. That is probably why I would fuck Pride too. I need to see a shrink about this or something.**  
** >…….. do you really want to know… do you REALLY???????**

The universe getting hope was definitely something that was needed… but then she realised that every man she was currently attracted too, barring her ex-fiance, was a minimum of 15 years older than her. One day she really was going to have to work out why.

 **> Well since its on the table just fucking tell me  
** **> You might need to see Ducky for mental treatment**  
** >Wait don’t see Ducky he could be your dad and I’m afraid you’ll fuck him**  
** >How about Dr. Getz from the LA office he’s a good shrink**  
** >Or Agent Todd’s sister?**

Ducky might be pushing it. Yeah, she clearly had things for guys in the 15-25 year older range, but she was fairly sure Ducky was pushing 45 years over her. Though, truth be told… he was a sweetie. Bishop was going to regret asking for Gibbs' name though, oh she was going to regret it.

 **> Cock Boss XD XD XD  
** **> ……. If I was drunk I would possibly put the moves on Ducky, because he’s adorable… but he may be a little too old for me. Just a touch.**  
** >Actually… who am I kidding. I probably would fuck Ducky if he was up for it. I’d be worried about killing the guy though. That would probably be a turn off.**  
** >I could always get back in touch with my ex, he was a psychiatrist… but considering when we broke up he accused me of being a “sex crazed maniac who only thinks with my privates and has the thought process of a teenaged boy” he may not be the best one to go too.**  
** >I only cheated on him a little, and we had only been together for a month.**

Well. Sam had been one thing, hadn't he. She'd stopped sleeping with everyone when she'd got with him… then James had come to town and her self-control had crumbled. Then she'd realised it was James and the fucked up relationships that came with him she wanted. That's when she'd got back in touch with Gibbs, too.

 **> please don’t fuck ducky  
** **> Ducky’s like my grandpa that would be even worse**  
** >I’m not even gonna say anything about Gibbs’ nickname**

She burst out laughing again, really glad that Bishop had just skated over Sam's assessment of her psyche. To be fair, Sam had been hurt too. The best thing she'd ever been text was 'please don't fuck ducky'. She wanted to frame that message.

 **> I won’t fuck Ducky, for you. Because we’re friends.  
** **> I mean also because of the murder too but. you know. Friends.**  
** >It’s less his nickname… more what I am… I need to stop talking.**

That realisation had probably come an hour too late. Looking at the clock she realised that it was time she start getting to bed. This would go on all night if they didn't stop soon, and would no doubt end in more confessions that neither really needed, or wanted, to hear.

 **> Merri, you’re too sober for this.  
** **> I can’t get drunk so I’m used to this bullshit but you’re too sober for this**  
** >I don’t even wanna know okay**  
** >I don’t need to know your sex life any more than you need to know mine**

That was true. Their sex lives were not a necessary part of their friendship, but it sure had been fun to try and mentally scar each other as much as humanly possible. To say all this had started through Merri accidentally sending nudes, it had been a fun night.

 **> In my defence, I am kinda jetlagged because I was with someone for New Year and I only got back to New Orleans like… yesterday.  
** **> I also didn’t get drunk on New Years this year. So I’m wondering if my body is acting drunk to make me feel like I didn’t miss out.**  
** >But, we now know I’m fucking your boss and you’re fucking my partner and this is just gonna be awkward for a while while we get used to it.**  
** >I’m stopping talking and going to bed I have to be at work in like 6 hours or Pride will kill me.**

With that she was signing off. It was bedtime. Though she would send those nudes to Gibbs before she went, and this time, she would ensure she sent them to the right person. She didn't need to have this conversation with Pride in the morning.


End file.
